Who Are You?

Was one of your new year's resolutions to live authentically, or to be happy living in the skin you're in? But what does that even mean if you don't know your identity...who you really are? Knowing our identity is such an essential part of our life, and so much more than what we look like, where we're  from or culture we've been submerged in. You can be from the Caribbean and dislike Soca or Reggae, be American and can't stand eating cheeseburgers, born in Italy but would pass on pasta, or Japanese and not be a fan of Sake....you get the drift. Being aware of and truly knowing who we are is way more important than knowing what to put in our Instagram bio, website, CV or portfolio.

Knowing your identity helps you make better, and more realistic decisions in the important aspects of our lives, like where to live, career or marriage/decisions, education (Morin & Racy, 2021, p. 374). And we've probably all experienced the awful consequences of making poor decisions.  While every decision or experience regardless of how awful it is allows us to learn, when we make poor choices we post likely deal with feeling unhappy,  dissatisfied with our life or doubt. We're also less likely to experience stress, frustration,  insecurities,  bouts of jealousy, but have more compassion and grace (Huseyin, 2017).

Without knowledge of our identity, we're instinctively reactive rather than proactive. According to Timothy D. Wilson, knowing our identity can help predict how we may feel in a particular situation or environment, which can help us prepare and navigate difficult situation an circumstances.

So, having said all that, what exactly is identity? It's pretty much your sense of self that's defined by a combination of interpersonal, physical, and psychological attributes along with your social roles and affiliations such as ethnicity. Living in a time where people have a tendency to tell us who we are, should be, and easily attach fear or judgement (that thing called cancel culture) to identities they dislike or don't understand, how can we truly know who we are and our identity? Spend time getting to know yourself. According to Associate Professional counselor, Debbie Will, taking time to think about how you'd describe yourself and what values are important to you are some great ways to explore and understand your identity.

If you're having problems answering those questions, delving into Ephesians 1:4-6 is always a great help to us as it reminds us that God chose us in Him before the creation of the world...can you believe that?! God chose YOU, US  before He created the world...and He made YOU, US to be holy and blameless in His sight. HE predestined through his love for us, to be adopted into sonship through Jesus Christ, according to His pleasure and will, to the praise of His glorious grace which He freely gave us! Through God's grace, He raised us up with Christ and seated YOU and US with Him in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6). We are God's handiwork (personal work), created in Jesus Christ to do good works, which God prepared in advance (before the creation of the world) for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

Just knowing and being reminded that we are the handiwork...masterpiece God took time to create, and planned for us to do good works way before we were born...before earth existed, and that He prepared a seat for us in heaven through and by His grace has been a great anchor, and help in knowing who we are and what values (devoid of society, family, cultural and everything & everybody's input) are truly important to us.

When we take the time to remind ourselves of our identity by reading Galatians, it's easier to do what Debbie Will suggested, which is thinking about what values are important to us. Remembering our identity helps us to feel and overwhelming love and gratitude for the grace given to us, and renews a desire to live as purely, generously, graciously and lovingly (Ephesians 5:1-4) as we possibly can, which actually calls us to be in alignment with our core identity.

Our identity is way more than and deeper than we think. We hope that when you take the time to discover yours, ignoring what other people place on you as their belief of your identity, you find peace and strength in knowing who you really are everything attached to your true identity.

References:

• American Psychological Association. Identity. Retrieved June 21, 2022 from https://dictionary.apa.org/identity

• Association for Psychological Science. (2009, September 8). Knowing Me, Myself And I: What Psychology Can Contribute To Self-knowledge. ScienceDaily. Retrieved June 21, 2022 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/07/090716113258.htm

• Huseyin, R. (2017, August 29). Why self-knowledge is hard to come by and what to do about it. Art of Wellbeing with Rezzan Huseyin.

• Morin, A., & Racy, F. (2021). Dynamic self-processes. In J. Rauthmann (Ed.), The handbook of personality dynamics and processes (pp. 336–386). Elsevier.

• Living Well Counselling. (2022, February 28). Who Am I? Developing A Strong Sense of Self. Retrieved June 21, 2022 from https://livingwellcounselling.ca/who-am-i-developing-a-strong-sense-of-self/